Yet another video

Shameless self promotion continues. A bit seasonally early, though. This one is from Korea w/ a surprise cameo. Send all complaints to whatever@whatever.com The video is on the right.

(Yes, I know I'm too loud and you can't hear the band. But is this blog about them?)

Children's Books That Didn't Make It

Saw this at Orson Scott Card's website http://hatrack.com

Pretty Dang Funny or maybe that's because I've been up since 0345 this morning. UGH!

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Scott
4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers, and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's It, I'm Putting You Up For Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking, and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were An Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes the Hamster.and Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

16 years and she's still hanging around?

Yeah, I know it's what you are thinking.

Well, another year of suffering has come and gone for my better half. We got cast out of heaven (refugees from Fort Huachuca), had a degree go down in a blaze of glory, a completion of another degree (you go, girl!), and have a teenager with a driver's permit.

However, that pales in comparison to what has happened since October 23, 1992. Yeah, that's right the early 90s, like when we graduated high school and got to vote in a presidential election for the first time, all in the same year. Exactly two years and 3 days after our first date, the crazy woman completely lost her mind and made the biggest blunder of her life, trading "I dos" with yours truly. Now, you may forever doubt her judgement, her taste in guys, or her sanity in general, but I will have you know that I didn't use a Jedi mind trick on her, as they only work on the week minded, nor did I have her drugged in any way on that fateful night 16 years ago.

16 years. How do you put up with a slacker for 16 years? How am I neither living on the streets dancing for pennies, nor chained to a bed post in a cuckoo farm spouting random lines from Star Trek ("Engage" "Make it so" "There are four lights!!!" "Shut up Wesley!")

Well, I think we all know; it's my hot bod! (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!)

But seriously, what I ever did to end up with the woman of my dreams is unbeknownst to me and is one of the greatest unsolved mysteries since the beginning of time. Or..... it could be that time when I was 15 and went deep into the jungle and saw this Panamanian Witch Doctor who gave me the Elixir of Love made from the saliva of an iguana and mango juice extract. I left Panama soon thereafter and duped a poor girl into a date. Thankfully, she knows nothing about what I slipped into her drink that night and the rest is history.

Now, to quote Alfalfa of Little Rascals fame "Let's raise a toast to the girl I love most in the whole world.... LINDA!!!!!!!!

(Perhaps I drugged her after all) shhhhhhh

My Eight Things for Melissa

Here they are in not-so-random order:

1. Sometimes I secretly wish I had a higher voice so that the high notes would be easier.
2. Sometimes I wish I played a lighter and less expensive instrument than the tuba.
3. Who would’ve thunk that I would love school? There I said it. Admittance is the first step
on the road to recovery.
4. I think I enjoy Star Trek more than Star Wars, which is all GL’s fault.
5. I wish I could run without pain.
6. I have a terrible memory (Oh wait! You already knew that.)
7. Being a musician is the best job in the world; it just needs to pay more and not require a
uniform. Less than 5 years to go!!!!!!!!!!!
8. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday; it’s all about the food.
9. I have a terrible memory (I can’t remember if already said that.)

Off the top of my head, Mel missed Dad and Scott. (Yeah, Scott, we know you have a blog. And by the way Nick says you are a wussie man and will soon be shorter than him.)

A side note, Junior will likely be doing his Eagle Project this Saturday, as long every thing gets approved. He is determined to drive and get his license on his 16th birthday. He may yet prevail and has many moons before then to get it done. He is the MAN!!!!!!!!

Conference Is da Bomb!!!!

Was it just me, or did conference rock the planet!!!

We watched all sessions online (except the Priesthood Session, which, unfortunately, was poorly attended at our building) at home and it was great. It was nice seeing the kids take notes and even nicer to not have to wrestle them in a pew. They all behaved well.

The best talk of conference (not that it is a contest, but I'd be interested to hear what others thought) was by Lawrence E. Corbridge in the Saturday afternoon session. It was powerful and had a memorable theme.

"Christ is the only way to truth and happiness; every other way is madness."

I don't think you can state anything simpler, plainer, or more powerful than that.

I guess we can't do this every week, but 6 months sure seems like a long time.

Church's Statement on The Divine Institution of Marriage

Found a refrence to this statement on deseretnews.com while I was reading about BYU's pasting of a PAC-10 pansy. (Hey Ben, didn't Arizona lose to MWC team on Saturday as well?)

Anyway, I found it quite interesting and hope psycho-judges stay out of it and the will of the people will prevail. Just click the title to read it.

To Boldly Go....

Another day I had been long dreaming of has finally come.... I own all seven seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation on DVD. Now, when I was a young, misguided kid, I greatly disliked all things Star Trek because I thought they were just ripping off Star Wars (actually it was George Lucas who ripped us all off in the prequel trilogy! A few great moments, i.e. Darth Maul being cut in half, Jango Fett, & most of Episode 3, are far outweighed by Padme, most of Episode II, and Padme. But I digress....) but, of course Star Trek (Kirk) came well before my and Star Wars' time. After Linda made the worst mistake of her life and married me, I started watching TNG because her family did, and man, it was awesome! Picard is the Man!!!!! I was hooked and watched every night I could as it was on M-F in syndication while were at Fort Benning. The series ended, the movies started (keeping the even/odd streak alive) and the movies ended. There will be no more Picard. The seasons were whopping $90 apiece at the PX through the years, but recently, probably due to the dreaded "phase out" they have come down to half what I had paid in the past. (Sam's strikes again, Hooray!) and Linda finsihed off the collection for my birthday. Now they'll probably come out on Blu-ray, aaarrgh!

What a bee-you-tiful sight!!!

Resistance is Futile!

Does this offically make me a Geek??

They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?

With a titular homage to one of Dad's favorite authors, I give a glimpse of the new addition to the Tennessee Howe's fun: the canoe. We finally got our travel/DITY move settlement (after the DITY was taxed 28%. Yeah, that's right, 28%! I knew it was going to be that much, but still... ouch! More money at tax time, though, always the most wonderful time of the year.) Of course, acquiring said canoe was an adventure all in itself. After we verified the money was finally in the bank (another struggle, an intricately woven sub-plot in our exploits here which furnishes an additional pile of evidence as to the prowess of the Army finance system; still waiting for BAH!) it was off to Sam's Club (so glad to have a Sams available again; COSTCO was okay, but it isn't Sam's, the pizza rocks!). (parentheses) (even more parentheses)

I had been admiring said canoe from afar, like a small boy with his face pressed up against the glass of a display window, and today it was going to finally be mine! Into the store we strolled and down the aisle to the spot and.... it was gone!

"No! It can't be true! That's impossible!"

"Search your feelings; you know it to be true!"

"Nooooooooo!!!"

With my tail firmly between my legs, my hopes shattered like a wrecking ball connecting with a windshield or a light bulb dropped from the Empire State Building embracing the pavement, I moseyed over to the Customer Service desk to ask about the canoe. They had sold the last one the day prior and weren't getting any more because it was deemed, the dreaded fate of all merchandise everywhere, a "phased out" item. My heart sank to my butt, but undeterred I reached down my throat and restored my heart to its proper place, sallied forth and asked if any stores in the surrounding area had any. They couldn't exactly tell with apparently antiquated automation equipment, (aren't these people networked?) but I did receive some phone numbers for stores in Nashville. I frantically dialed and came to find out that a store on the northern side of Nashville still had two in stock. Can I buy it over the phone? NO! I was ready to go right then and there, but, alas, cooler (and wiser) heads prevailed as my better half reminded me that the kids would be home from school in a couple hours (So?) and we wouldn't make it back in time (Oh). I had the next day off anyway (Friday) due to good ol' Labor Day (gotta love the Army four-day weekend!) and prayed that I, and more importantly my canoe, would live to see tomorrow.

The morning broke, the shadows fled, the kids went on their merry way to school, uphill both ways, 1500% humidity that one could make Kool-aid by throwing powder-mix in the air like rice at a wedding, and we began our ramble down to Nashville which was an excellent scenic drive as we didn't take the interstate, spotting several excellent places to enjoy the canoe along the way. We arrived shortly after the store opened and I ran inside and... no canoe! This can NOT be happening! I scrambled over to the Customer Service desk and thrust a small scrap of paper, on which was scribbled the canoe's item #, on to the counter.

"I called yesterday evening and you had two left. Where are they?" My eyelids closed to form slits, my eye brows furled. Yeah, that will scare 'em!

"We have one left. Someone faxed in an order." Doth my ears deceive me? Faxed order? Somehow the joker who had answered the phone call I made the previous day failed to mention that option.

"I will pay for it NOW!" The cashier punched in the item # and it was substantially less than the price I had previously seen. Ah! phased out item gets cheaper until they are gone. Lucky for me. Cha-ching! A couple Sam's workers brought it out and it was finally mine, my own, my precious.... Mounting it to the Suburban was another adventure, but we made it home safe and sound. Now if I can just find some (purchase) life jackets, the right weather, and the time to go hit one of the plethora of rivers and streams around here we will finally christen the darn thing and embark on its maiden voyage. Now, I just need a name..... (No, not Orca after Dad's beastly Utah truck.)

A safe trip home.

Rose the mariner or marinette?

They sure grow 'em big down here!!!

BYU blocked the PAT!!! (sigh of relief) 2-0 and longest winning streak in the nation. (including last year) Time to crash the ineptitude that is the BCS system. What a crock!!!!

Opera Workshop

Now that I have returned to being a vocal major, I got roped into opera workshop. On the right is one of scenes we will be doing from Mozart's Don Giovanni, Act 2 Finale. It starts about 3:30 into the clip. I'm the pasty-white, scary old guy. I guess I need to gain even more weight and dye my hair white for the part. Uncle Sam may not like that.

Back to School & the Circle is Now Complete

With the use of my puny brain, I've come to the conclusion and cling to the hope that the reason I am here at Fort Campbell is to finally complete my Masters Degree after the 8-year-long debacle that was University of Alaska Fairbanks.

I immediately applied to Austin Peay State University (Let's Go Peay! Seriously, the school motto) once I received orders to "this place" in the hopes that if I acted quickly enough I might be able to utilize a small sampling of the plethora of credits I earned at the aforementioned School of Debacle towards this degree as credits not enclosed in a degree have a short life-span and mine were beginning to drop like mosquitoes drawn to a blue-zapper-light thingy.
Thankfully it appears that I will likely be able to transfer 12 credits (out of the 53 I've already earned of which I only really needed 30) and I could possibly done in a year.

The other thing that was initially exciting was that they actually had a living, breathing tuba professor, which would be a first in my storied collegiate career as I have been stuck studying with trombone players who really had no clue about tuba (although I did learn from them, just not as much from someone who actually plays your instrument; I guess it's like learning to fix airplane engines from a mechanic who only knows how to fix car engines, some of the same principles apply but it's not really the same thing)

However, me not one to pass up an opportunity decided not to take the easiest route and figured that since I already did all the course work to get a tuba degree why duplicate all that work and credits and not get a voice(singing) degree instead. I mentioned this to the music chair and music graduate student coordinator (both voice professors) and they were somewhat hesitant since I hadn't really done any vocal studies since 1999. I pushed a little bit and they tentatively agreed that I could switch if I would audition for them and meet whatever "standard" they have. I had to sing 4 songs: 1 each in English, German, Italian, & French. English and German were easy to figure out but I hadn't done a whole lot of Italian and even less French. So, I threw a bunch of songs in a hat, spun around three times, and whatever.... well, actually I just went with the ones I remembered best and even had to use the printed music on the Italian and French songs because of my terrible memory (we all know how bad that is... what is, what was I talking about?) anyway I showed up at the audition on Thursday thinking I was only going to be auditioning for the two aforementioned people. However, more people kept coming in the room and it seemed half the faculty showed up. No pressure. So I proceeded with a Jedi Mind Trick (complete with hand motion "Let me be a voice major, you will"), clicked my heels together three times, and spewed forth sounds from my mouth. I led off with "Ol' Man River" and was stopped halfway through it. Great the cut me off on the one I know best. I then proceeded to sing the other 3 songs in their entirety, even the one that had a full da capo (if you don't know what that means, don't worry, it just means you repeat the whole first section of an aria) Then they sent me away from the room and thankfully the deliberation was short (Long deliberations are never good, like the ones I experienced at the School Which Shall Not Be Named.) Apparently, my Jedi Mind Trick worked, as it appears the professors of the school must be weak-minded, (I hope none of them ever read this) and I get to be a voice major. No more lugging that tuba back and forth to school, home, and work. I hope my collegiate career will end much as it began back in 1992, with a vocal audition. Maybe I'll be able to get this done and FINALLY finsh my masters degree once and for all, and then move back to Fort Huachuca and retire and get a job. If you know of anyone who's looking to hire 2nd-rate tuba players or singers in the greater Sierra Vista area please let me know.

Hooray for the Fort Campbell Commissary

All Hail the Fort Campbell Commissary!!!!

After years of suffering at Fort Huachuca & my year exile in Korea, I have finally found what I have been missing all this time: Caffeine Free "Regular" (Not Disgusting Diet) Dr. Pepper.

I may never move again! (Well, that's not really true. I'm ready to head back to Fort Huachuca tomorrow if they'd let me.)

I was a caffeine-a-holic until I quit cold turkey in 2004 (Man the headaches from withdrawal), but I only had caffeine free coca-cola to turn to. Maybe this is just a little reward for moving here to Crazy Army Land. This waking up at 5am every morning is starting to drag (Early Morning Seminary and PT. Yippee!)

Tennessee Rental

Well, after all the fuss it looks like we are going to rent after all. It's a nice place in Adams, Tennessee about 25 miles from Fort Campbell. I'll join the "Commute Club" of Scott & Ben, if they'll let me in. Maybe we are being protected, because we really wanted to buy a house. However, my goal is to get out of there (Fort Campbell) as quickly as I can and get to Redstone Arsenal in Huntsville in 2010 when the AMC Band moves there. Of course, my only experience with buying/selling a house was very profitable and I guess I felt two years is plenty of time to make a buck or two off of a house. Perhaps the economy won't allow that this time around. We'll see. In the mean time, I get to pay someone else's mortgage, but I also don't have to worry about the housing market crashing either. It still beats living on Fort Campbell, which for some reason I REALLY want to avoid. We'll see how it goes. We've yet to be at one assignment and not at least change addresses once. (aka 2 different homes) Hopefully, we will avoid that this time. Moving is a pain in the booty.